Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Homophobia is clearly a harmful mental sickness. What can LGBT people do to cure it?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What are some signs that someone may be being stalked by an organization or secret society? How can they find out for sure?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Do airline pilots try to avoid turbulence? How can you tell if your flight has been rerouted due to weather conditions or other factors?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I was awaken between 2-3am by a voice that said “Hey”. Literally right next to my ear. Sounded like a males voice, but it wasn’t stern or deep. What could this mean?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

We white women don't like white men. Do you have any issue with that?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Hello I am 17 year old boy and I am interested in transgender why?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising